He bit my toe! He snuck up on me when I was working at the computer and bit me hard right on my newly manicured big toe! I squawked. He squawked. Feathers flew. Let me introduce Shako, my husband’s African Grey parrot. My Feng Shui consultant Carol Olmstead calls him my “Sha Chi,” or negative energy.
Shako’s been with my husband longer than I have. It’s like living under the same roof as your husband’s first wife, the one who hates your guts and does her best to mess up your space, mess up your mind. We actually don’t know if Shako is male or female–we’re not willing to pay for the medical procedure required to find out–but I just know that my feathered foe is adding testosterone to the already heavy mix in the household. He’s the predator; I’m the prey. How he manages this when he’s behind bars most of the time is a mystery. I should probably give him credit for the power he wields over me.
Feng Shui principles teach us that we should absolutely love everything in our surroundings. When we look at something we find beautiful or that makes us happy, we add positive energy to our environment and to the universe at large. The opposite is also true. Sha Chi’s negative energy pokes us in the eye and turns us into transmitters of negativity, polluting the space around us as much as any factory smoke stack.
I actually found this definition of Sha Chi on a Feng Shui website: “Sha Chi refers…to the architectural elements or decorative elements in or outside the home that exude violent nature. Certain structures outside [or inside cages-MB] that have sharp corners or points that seem to point to your home or work space are considered to be Sha Chi. The sharpness almost seems to be a type of assault.” I swear it said that.
When Carol came to my home the first time, she knew that when I looked at Shako, it wasn’t a good sign that I grit my teeth and apologized for his presence. I had just vacuumed and dusted, which is always his signal to flap his wings and make me crazy. As if on cue, upon meeting Carol he spread his wings and did the funky chicken dance, raising a cloud of feathers and parrot dander in his wake.
Carol looked at me with sympathy and said, “Does he have to stay?”
I explained to her that, although Shako has always been a fly in the ointment when it comes to my quest for zen, his presence in the house was non-negotiable. My husband and the boys adore him, and we already adopted out the second parrot that came with the marriage. This bird was off the table when it came to my clutter-clearing aspirations.
Accept what is, embrace the Now, I tell myself. I have to let go of the negative energy I attach to this bird. He’s not going to change, so I’ll have to. It’s really not his fault that he’s trapped in a cage. I’d be an angry biter too if I were in his place (my husband protests that Shako does not bite him, though I’m not sure what point he’s trying to make with this observation). African Greys can live into their 70s. It’s time to let go, Martha. I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going.
What are your sources of Sha Chi? Let me know by replying below!
Sue Brettschneider says
I know my comment will not be agreed upon by the women of my clan but I have to agree with the boys on this one. I like Shako. Of course I don’t have to deal with him on a daily basis. It is well known that birds often bond to their owner and will show great disdain toward the owners partner. In Feng Shui how do you say that sometimes we must accept life on life’s terms. I far as my Sha Chi goes I’ve been busy cleaning up that part of my life. Enough said.
Martha says
Shako thanks you for the vote of confidence, Sue! Yes, it’s a constant tug-of-war between acceptance and Sha Chi. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Brian says
I know a guy who knows a guy……there’s also this cat that wears boots, he’s busy these days. Just saying…..HAH!
Martha says
Brian — we need to talk. I’ll pay anything. The oven cleaner fumes didn’t work.
Carol Olmstead says
Another definition of sha chi is “attacking energy.” Seems to speak for itself. Feng Shui principles believe that when you are exposed to sharp energy it weakens your own energy and doesn’t support good health and well-being. Maybe it’s time to modify my original question: “Does he have to stay…in the same location in your house??”
Martha says
Still working the issue, Carol — will keep you posted. I think the only option is for me to get over it.
Emma says
I love this post Martha! NOT because I want you to have Sha Chi in your life- far from it – but because I totally understand where you’re coming from. I have two furballs (my pet cats) in my life (and house) and unfortunately for them we acquired them as tiny kittens when I was pregnant with my son (now 5) and they grew up as he did. I say unfortunately for them because this was a time of great chaos in my life- my daughter just started school, my son was just born and all I saw them as was a source of annoyance. They would scratch at the door at night, occasionally poop on the floor, their cat food smell irritated me, they made a hairy mess generally- everything the poor things did seemed to irritate me and I have to admit this went on for a good few years. Luckily as life eased out a bit- the baby stage well and truly over, so did my attitude towards the cats. I don’t “love” them like I should – especially as I have always adored cats – we just got off on the wrong foot and never quite made it back. However, I care about them, I don’t wish them harm, I’m the chief bowl washer and food distributor and I actually missed them when we went on holiday!! So I guess the ice is thawing out a little. Occasionally I even let them sit with me and try and overlook the fluff they are leaving on my lovely cushions ;-) but it’s been a slow process. It’s not their fault- they just came into our family at a very hectic time. The point is, they have stayed the same throughout the five years or so that we’ve had them. When I feel loving towards them, when I’m relaxed with them, the only thing that has changed is ME and my attitude towards them. Okay, so cats are not the same as parrots and I know from my partner’s friend that parrots can be extremely possessive BUT the point is just to say you can choose how you feel towards him – this being the only way to keep you sane!! What do your husband and children like about the parrot? Why do THEY like him? My partner and children love our cats too and always have. I work from home so I’m always here, I’m the one who “keeps house” so I clear up after them and this is why I feel I see the cats differently….maybe try to see the parrot from their eyes for a moment given that he is here to stay!!! All the best xxx
Martha says
Thanks so much for the great comment, Emma. I agree with you that it’s all gotten a bit easier since my kids have gotten older. Yes, they like the parrot, though have a healthy respect for the pain he can inflict. I am making peace with him, or trying to. At least I stop myself when I start to direct openly negative thoughts his way — it’s not his fault. My husband has stepped up his efforts to keep feathers swept up, but since he’s gone all day the floor never stays clean for long. If that’s the worst of my problems, I’m in good shape, I guess. When we met he also had two cats. They passed on in the first few years of our marriage, by which time I learned that I had a cat allergy, so I’m off the hook there (as you can see from my other pet posts, we have no lack of other species to fill in the gap — and I don’t think I’ve written about the leopard gecko yet!). Thanks for stopping by!