It’s the day before Thanksgiving. I’m sitting in my kitchen window seat with my morning ritual breakfast of steel cut oats and blueberries, steaming mug of coffee on the table beside me.
The board game I played with my kids last night is packed away in its chunky box at the other end of the table. The mums and gourds centerpiece on the kitchen island, assembled in haste for my art show last weekend, catches the early sunlight and glows red, yellow, and orange. I see a flash in the window and realize it’s the reflection of my coffee mug tilting up to my mouth when I take a sip. Sizzles emanate from the coffee maker, where some drips must have fallen onto the heating element. Outside, hydrangea leaves flutter like withered, crisp flags in the chilly wind, deepening my personal sense of warmth and safety.
Grateful for this moment, for each of these tiny experiences, I remember the talk I heard a couple of weeks ago by Dr. Amit Sood at the 2018 Mindful Leadership Summit in Washington, DC. Dr. Sood is Professor of Medicine at the Mayo Clinic College of Medicine, Rochester, Minnesota, Chair of the Mayo Mind Body Initiative, and author of the Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living, Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness, and Mindfulness Redesigned for the Twenty-First Century.
Dr. Amit Sood Speaking at 2018 Mindful Leadership Summit
Prior to hearing Sood’s talk on “Three Simple Steps to Lasting Resiliency,” I hadn’t made a direct link between gratitude and emotional resiliency. The broad framework of his talk was certainly familiar: we can boost our resilience by adopting practices that strengthen our self-awareness, intentional attention, and attitude (or mindset). These are all pillars of the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute curriculum that I’ve been studying and preparing to teach all year.
With Search Inside Yourself colleagues at Mindful Leadership Summit
But what Dr. Sood added were specific gratitude practices that serve as bicep curls for your resilience-building program. And what more perfect time to try them out than Thanksgiving, right?
Three Types of Gratitude Bicep Curls from the Mayo Clinic’s Dr. Amit Sood
1) Two-minute morning gratitude practice:
As soon as you wake up in the morning, before you step on the carpet (or get out of bed), send three people in your life your silent gratitude.
Person 1 – Bring their face to mind and think of something nice they said or did.
Person 2 – Bring to mind your first memory of them.
Person 3 – Bring to mind the color of their eyes.
Finally, bring to mind your 8-year-old self and send compassion and gratitude to that child.
2) Try not to fix or improve your family member(s) in your first three minutes of interaction with them. Instead of our usually tendency to fix them, help them feel worthy and validated.
3) Notice novelty in the ordinary. For family members you see frequently, meet them as if you haven’t seen them in a month. Bring a “beginner’s mind” to all your family members, opening your heart and awareness to allow something new or unconsidered to reach your attention.
As a more general practice, Dr. Sood recommends resting attention on all of our blessings, large and small, even during setbacks:
“I try my best to focus on what went right within what went wrong. There are so many things that I am grateful for. And when I focus on them I feel full and when I am full I am ready to give and I am also better able to withstand adversity.”
Dr. Sood’s body of work is based on the notion that pain is unavoidable, but a large proportion of suffering is optional. For many more tips, resources, and Mayo Clinic research on how mindfulness practices can support our sense of well-being and happiness, check out Dr. Sood’s websites myhappinesspal.com, resilientoption.com, and on Twitter @amitsoodmd.
Finally, don’t forget your gratitude journal — another form of bicep curl!
Writing down your moments of gratitude weaves the experience into your neural structure via a process called neuroplasticity (neurons that fire together, wire together). The more you practice gratitude, the more this positive state of mind becomes your auto setting.
That’s why I’m so excited about this recent addition to my Damselwings mindful product line. As I explain in the front content, “Whether you use this journal to set your intentions and goals at the start of the day, as a gratitude treasure chest, a safe place to reflect on challenges or growth areas, a creative playground for words and/or images, a thought download destination to clear some brain space at day’s end, or a combination of all of these, my wish for you is that this book nurtures and supports your flourishing.”
If you’d like to order one (or several – they’ve been super popular gift purchases at my fall art events), just shoot me an email and I’ll set you up. Happy to ship to you! For the time being I will only be selling the journals directly, not through my website, so that I can make sure that my supply lasts for my inner circle through the holidays. No guarantees, though, so let me know quickly if you’re interested.
Clockwise from top left: Old Growth Redwoods black cover; inside pages of journal — one blank side, one lined side; Redwoods evergreen cover; Lotus black cover; Lotus purple cover; Lotus teal cover. Journals measure 7″ tall and 4.5″ wide, price is $14.
And with that, I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! We have SO many opportunities during this holiday to put our mindfulness practice to work, from navigating crowds at the grocery store to noticing how family conversations may trigger us. The good news is, mindfulness practice gives us the tools to respond skillfully to these challenges — as long as we remember to use them!
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