“Just watching an animal closely can take you out of your mind and bring you into the present moment, which is where the animal lives all the time — surrendered to life.”
~ Eckhart Tolle
Owning my bias as a dog person, I’m guessing that most people who take the time to look into a dog’s eyes can relate to Eckhart Tolle’s observation.
I took it a little too far this past Monday, however, while running on the sidewalk with Apollo to give him some exercise in advance of the polar vortex. In mid-stride, Apollo decided to play a game with the leash, grabbing it in his mouth.
This is a favorite game of his, but this time he managed to simultaneously lock into eye contact with me. I held his gaze an instant too long and got tangled up in the leash. I knew I was going down and had to make some quick decisions.
Trying to take another step risked a full face plant and a torn hamstring or other leg injury. I opted instead for a rolling fall, which I’ve executed successfully on other occasions. My rusty high school gymnast skills failed me this time.
BAM! I didn’t make the full rotation onto my back that I had hoped for. My left shoulder took the full impact.
Ever-helpful, Apollo retrieved the pink ski hat that had fallen off my head and began tossing it joyfully in the air. Always in the present moment, that one, never missing an opportunity for fun.
The pain was real.
The stories in my head materialized immediately. I didn’t think the shoulder was broken given my range of motion, but I was absolutely certain I had messed up the soft tissue. The inner chatter seemed to feed on itself.
Stories:
- Just as my year was getting started, the day after I had submitted all of my required materials for my rigorous Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute teacher certification, I would now need surgery. I would be down for weeks of recovery, missing out on all sorts of opportunities.
- So much for that gratitude I have always felt that I didn’t have chronic injuries – now I would need to deal with a messed up shoulder the rest of my life.
- I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my family when we traveled. I would disappoint my children.
- I wouldn’t be able to maintain my fitness regime.
- It hurt to even lift my camera, so I was missing out on all that cool snow and icicle photography that I was seeing on other people’s Facebook and Instagram feeds. People wouldn’t take me seriously anymore because I looked like a wussy for not going out in the cold.
Blah blah blah. Poor me! Poor me!
The fall happened on Monday. I couldn’t get in to a doctor until Wednesday evening. Guess what?
NO SURGERY NEEDED!
Because I fell right on top of my shoulder (just on bone), the soft tissue wasn’t damaged. I couldn’t believe it! The bone bruise still hurt like the dickens, but, incredibly (to me and my inner crazy maker anyway), everything was intact, except for a minor injury to the infraspinatus muscle, which may have been there before.
That Sacred Shift from Fear to Gratitude
When the doctor gave me the good news after the ultrasound, I experienced an immediate flush of joy and relief. It wasn’t only in my head. I literally felt a sort of cleansing in my body, replacing the stress chemicals with whatever relaxes us (the hormone seratonin is one of those relaxation-inducing chemicals, but I know it’s a lot more complex than that).
I gained a little more clarity while watching a film on Netflix last night. In Kelly Noonan’s documentary HEAL, which explores the mind/body connection and our ability to impact our own healing process, I was reminded that our bodies are either in fight mode or rest and repair mode.
The shift I felt was when I changed gears from fear to repair.
Since my beautiful shift from fear to gratitude (gratitude that I don’t need surgery, gratitude for my strong bones, gratitude even for Apollo and his shenanigans), I’ve been sending all sorts of motivational messages to my cells working hard to heal me. I had practiced this exactly a year ago after surgery, so this was a refresher course.
I’m not back to 100 percent yet, but the pain subsided enough for me to capture a few sparkles in my garden before warmer air carried them away. Here a few of them…
Hope you have stayed warm and safe during these crazy weather days that so many of us have been caught up in!
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