I put my photography on the back burner this year. It had become too commercially driven for my comfort level.
The sense of wonder, mindful connection with nature, and playfulness that originally inspired me to make photographs seemed harder to access. I felt pushed by negative emotions, rather than pulled by positive emotions, to engage in my craft.
A voice in my head told me it wasn’t OK to take a break, let alone tell anyone why. I had invested a lot of money in new equipment and training the past few years, and had talked about that publicly.
“What would people think about me?” my inner Judge whined.
My Own Course
The good news is that I have cultivated the superpower of trusting my body’s wisdom rather than my survival brain’s shenanigans.
The first clear message from my inner compass was the immediate sense of relief and lightness that washed over me when I gave my notice at the art gallery where I had had a presence for several years. The energetic shift led me to reflect on the heaviness of certain thought patterns that had taken hold…
How often “should” I be out with my camera? What “should” my subjects be? On which artistic style “should” I focus? What equipment “should” I use?
None of these analytical thoughts inspired creative energy in me.
The Compass Points North (Again)
Why, then, you might ask, am I going back to New Brunswick, Canada, this June to again study with the renowned photographer Freeman Patterson?
I learned so much from Freeman about the art of seeing during my week-long workshop with him last summer, stretching into new photography techniques and more expansive subjects. I wrote a bit about that here.
But this time the weeklong workshop I’ve chosen is not about photography.
“Inscape: Imagining, Dreaming, Creating” delves into where our creativity begins and how we can till those inner fields for deeper meaning. The suggested reading is pretty daunting – lots of books on dream work and, an even bigger stretch for me, quantum theory and metaphysics. The Secret Teachings of Plants: The Intelligence of the Heart in the Direct Perception of Nature by Stephen Harrod Buhner has so far been the “easiest” for me. And still not easy!
It feels good to exercise atrophied brain muscles. It feels even better to not feel stressed about what I don’t understand.
My heart is clear on its message that Freeman has something to teach me at this juncture of my journey. Now in his 80’s, he has been making photographs since before I was born.
Even with all of the technical information and visual design theory that I learned last summer, the lesson that resonated most deeply was Freeman’s pronouncement on our final day that, above all else, the sense of meaning an image evokes for the photographer is the most important element.
I can’t wait to step back onto the path with my teacher this June, the guide by my side providing pointers towards ever greater purpose with my creative work.
Positive Emotions Back Online!
Trusting my body’s wisdom has made life easy to surf. I am excited, curious, and feeling a sense of adventure!
How about you? What steps are you taking into uncharted territory? What skills are you cultivating to clarify your own true north?
