We don’t usually see the word ”good” associated with “stress.” Most of us have plenty of truly challenging, anxiety producing stress in our lives these days. As a mindfulness and emotional intelligence teacher, my life’s work is to give people tools to respond skillfully to life’s uncertainties.
As I have been preparing to teach an upcoming session of the Search Inside Yourself Adaptive Resilience series, I realized just how much my own personal practice over the past twelve years has prepared me not only to handle negative stress more skillfully, but also to maintain peak performance during intense periods of purposeful work.
A new component of my purpose work emerged when I stepped up to be Team Lead of a group of family and friends co-sponsoring 15 – soon to be 16 – newly arrived Afghan family members for their first twelve months of settling into the United States.
Two brothers who both worked for the US Embassy as security guards at the Kabul airport, protecting Americans even as the Taliban encroached, made it out with their wives and ten kids between them ranging in age from 16 to 2. They spent four months at a military base camp in New Jersey before arriving in Virginia in late January. Since their arrival, the family numbers have grown, with one new baby born on February 11 (five days after we met them) and the second mom due to deliver another baby this spring.
In the few weeks we’ve had to get to know them – during our supplies deliveries, drives to English classes and job interviews, doctor appointments, the herculean process of getting eight kids enrolled in three different schools in record time, public transportation training, computer training, budget advising, one-on-one English sessions, etc. – we have learned that our families are warm hearted, motivated, brave, quick learners who are ready to get to work to create the bright future that they desire and deserve.
Mindful Leadership and Team Building Lessons
The journey has been intense and exhilarating for our team. I’ve had the opportunity to practice every mindful leadership skill I have taught in my programs – staying grounded to maintain mental clarity, mindful listening, recognizing the signs of fatigue that precede burnout, shifting into self-care and self-compassion for myself and encouraging my team members to do the same. I could go on.
My big ah ha moment last night was recognizing the palpable feel of being in my peak performance zone, when I actually enjoyed a conversation about what we’ve learned about Medicaid. When Medicaid feels fun, you know you’re right where you are supposed to be!
When we are in flow – aligned with purpose, challenged just enough to keep it interesting, and fully focused – mild or acute stress can be beneficial. Flow can spur you into action, motivate and energize you, getting you into that peak performance zone. This “good” stress is called eustress. It comes from the word eudaimonia (“youdeemonia”) meaning to flourish.
We are designed to recover quickly from short term stress. Things go south when stressors pile up and we don’t have the tools to respond skillfully.
Mindful living and leading, however, is about more than our personal stress management. These practices allow us to show up fully for our lives in ways that serve what this moment in history calls for. The payback in terms of a sense of meaning, fulfillment, and connection has been energizing and deeply rewarding for our team.
Mindful Action Through Adaptive Resilience
As the world watches yet another refugee crisis unfold in Ukraine, I encourage you to shift from hand-wringing empathetic distress to compassionate action in whatever way works for you – financial support, volunteering, and/or simply extending your loving kindness wishes without turning away.
These are trainable skills that impact our personal and collective trajectory in positive, impactful ways.
To learn more about our upcoming SIY Adaptive Resilience 3-Part Online Series, visit our Eventbrite page here. We’d love to have you join us in April!
